You Will

“No, I won’t”
“Wanna bet on it?”
“No”
He chuckled, his eyes locked on mine. “Let’s go”
I ignored his hand on my back and joined the others in the awaiting elevator. We trooped out and walked through the hotel’s lobby, avoiding the fans that were still waiting for them. I saw AJ and Howie stop from the corner of my eye, saw Nick flash a grin at cameras and shook my head when Kevin urged me forward. “Don’t you want to stop and sign some autographs?”
“Not tonight, no. And I’m not a Backstreet Boy anymore”
I mumbled something along the lines of we all know that and followed him outside. Two minivans were waiting for us and we climbed in the first one.

Funnily enough, I wasn’t surprised when Kevin slid on the seat next to mine. It took only a second for him to tilt my head to the side and kiss me. I heard the others join us, felt the car start to move but he never stopped. My fingers were raking through his hair as I struggled for breath. His tongue busy playing with mine, the kiss was so good that I forgot about everything else for a few seconds. Then I realized I was going to faint if I didn’t breathe out. I pushed on his shoulders and we came up for air.
“Kevin, stop” I said as I saw his head lower a moment later.
“No”
“Come on” I leaned back against the window but he followed the movement and I soon found myself stuck under him. “Please”
“No, I’m not gonna stop. I’m going to kiss you until you say yes. Until you can’t think of anything else but sleeping with me tonight”
“It’s not gonna work” My words were shaky, damn it.
“It will” He murmured before taking my mouth again.

Why had we made that deal? I wondered for the umpteenth time since the night before. I’d been weak, that’s why. And I’d wanted to taste him and see if his kiss was as arousing as it was in my dreams.
And it was. Except feeling him was much more different. I moaned in his throat when he began sucking on my tongue, my fingers clenching around his back. He growled in approval and pushed me further against the window, his chest hard against mine. God he felt good. But I couldn’t be weak again.
Kisses were one thing. I’d made a deal and I would hold my end of the bargain but I wouldn’t go further. I won’t have sex with him tonight. I won’t.
“You will” He said before settling back on his seat.
I looked around me and rolled my eyes at the others’ amused glances. “I won’t” I sounded more childish by the minute. Argh!
“We’ll see” He replied before wrapping his arm around my shoulders and tugging me closer to his side. I sighed and closed my eyes for the remainder of the journey.

***

“I don’t grind, Kevin!” I said loud enough so he could hear over the thumping music.
He grinned, “You do now!”
His hands grabbing my hips, he moved against me as he followed the rhythm of the music. I had no choice but to keep his tempo and even if I knew it was all part of his plan to seduce me, I had to admit it felt good. It felt even better when he turned me around and began grinding against my butt. I could feel his arousal through our clothes and couldn’t help but lean back into him.
He groaned in appreciation and wrapped his arms around my waist. “I want you”
I exhaled and tried to act as if I hadn’t heard him.

I guess he knew better though as he softly added, his mouth right next to my ear, “I want to hear you moan my name as you come underneath me. I want to feel your legs wrapped around my back as I pound into you-”
I whirled around and snapped, “Stop it!”
He smirked, “No”
“Fuck, Kevin, we had a deal!”
“And I want more. You shouldn’t have gone down on me last night”
I felt my eyes widen and surreptitiously looked around us. No one seemed interested by our exchange so I stared back at him. “That was the deal. You agreed to it”
“I know. But it’s my right to want more”
“Maybe but it doesn’t mean I have to agree!”
He remained silent for a second then replied, “It also doesn’t mean I’m forbidden to try and change your mind”
“Kevin, don’t-”
His lips cut me off.

He stepped back until he hit the wall, our teeth banging into each other. Nothing interrupted our kiss though. Fellow dancers kept bumping into us but we didn’t let go of each other. I ignored the voice in my head that kept saying I was stupid to let him kiss me. I didn’t care, I just wanted to feel him. That was all I was allowed, or rather that I allowed myself. Kisses. Nothing more.
His hands grabbed my butt and squeezed. Argh! I broke the kiss and glared up at him. “For pity’s sake!”
“What?” He completely ignored me as he kept on kneading my butt.
Okay so it felt good. Weird but good. “Kevin!”
“What? Come back here so I can kiss you again”
“Aren’t you tired of kissing me?” I didn’t know where that came from but I was suddenly worried. I wanted more of him. Shoot, no, I meant more of his kisses.
“That’s a joke, right?” He asked before claiming my lips again. I groaned and plastered myself against him.

***

“Okay, guys, just go and have sex. Please”

I broke away from Kevin and looked behind me. “What’s your problem?”
“I can’t take it anymore. Just go fuck each other silly before we all explode”
“What?”
Kevin chuckled, “I think we’re frustrating them, babe”
“Fuck, yeah”
“Nick!”
“What? It’s true. I don’t know what your problem is but do something about it. This kissing thing is getting tiring”
“I can’t have sex with him!”
“Why?” I looked back at Nick and he sighed. “Okay, okay, I know why but still … This can’t possibly be healthy. Poor Kev’s gonna explode and then where will we be?”
“Considering he’s not one of you anymore, I’m not sure what that could change”
“Thanks” Kevin commented dryly behind me.
“What? It’s true” I turned back towards him.
“Stop being so difficult”
“I’m not difficult. I’m the only one thinking here!”
“It’s just sex. One night and we’ll forget about it”

I felt my mouth snap open and shut. Bloody guy. “Maybe for you, Kev, but I doubt I’ll be able to forget. And in any case, I don’t want to have sex with you”
The bloody man laughed. “Sure, you don’t”
“I don’t! How many times will I have to tell you this? I don’t want to be naked with you!”
“But that’s not the same thing. It doesn’t mean you don’t want me”
Ah. He was right on that one. Fuck. “Maybe but I still have the right to say no. So good night, Kev”
“Don’t we get a good night too?” I heard AJ mutter behind me but ignored him.

The door banged shut behind me. I strode through my hotel room and fell, face first, onto the bed. I could feel need run through me. I wanted nothing more than to go to his room and have sex all night long. But I wouldn’t. I couldn’t.
Sighing, I grabbed the nearest pillow and hid my face. I was pathetic. After what had happened the night before, it wasn’t as if I could truly say I’d been faithful. No penetration indeed. But he’d been in my mouth and he’d spilled himself in me. I’d caressed his chest too, even though I hadn’t been supposed to. But hell, I hadn’t been able to help myself. He was so damn handsome.
Fuck!
I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling. I wouldn’t give in. I wouldn’t.

***

The phone ringing startled me awake. I’d been sleeping off and on for the better part of two hours and I was so groggy I didn’t even think before picking up. “Yes?”
“Come to my room”
I blinked and stared at the surrounding darkness. “Kevin?”
“Please, baby, I need you”
His voice was so husky he’d managed to arouse me with just a few words. “You know I can’t do that”
“You can. You know you want to” His voice dropped even lower. “You want me”
I gulped and fought the need to rush out of my room. “Please don’t do this. Go back to sleep” Silence met my words. Or rather, not silence per se. I could hear noise in the background but it took me a moment to understand what it was. ARGH! “KEVIN! For fuck’s sake!”

“What?”
“What the hell are you doing?”
“I’m jerking off, babe. I needed relief”
He said that so matter-of-factly I didn’t know what to respond. “So why are you calling me if you’re taking care of the problem?”
“Because I can’t help but remember your mouth around me last night. I want that again. No, I want more. I want to fuck you all night long, not come in my hand”
“Good night, Kevin” I slammed the phone on its receiver and took a deep breath. Damn guy thought he could break me down but I knew this game. Too bad I couldn’t tell my body not to react. At least he wasn’t here to see the way my breasts had hardened.
The phone rang again and I stumbled off the bed. Turning the bedside lamp on, I kneeled and jammed the line out of its socket. There, no more phone. I also turned my cell phone off for good measure.
Now what?

***

I shrieked as I got out of the shower precipitously. Everyone talking about cold showers were nuts! This was not cold, this was freezing! Grabbing a towel, I wrapped myself in it and went back to bed. Then I realized sleeping naked wasn’t going to help so I climbed back down and rummaged in my suitcase for my PJs. Now properly attired, I dived back under the duvet.
Half an hour later, I was still rolling around without any hope of finding sleep ever again. I kept thinking of him lying on his bed, his fingers wrapped tightly around his arousal as he pumped and… ARGH!
I had to think of something else.

I turned the lamp on again and looked around. Spotting the novel I’d been reading the day before, I grabbed it and settled myself against the pillows. Except this was a romance novel. I thought I was going to scream when the author described the couple’s first night together. In detail.
“Fuck” I mumbled as I sent the book flying to the nearest table. This wasn’t gonna work.
I turned the light off again and sighed. I fell asleep hours later, Kevin’s laugh resonating in my head.

***

“Don’t” Was all I had time to say before lips claimed mine. I guess Kevin had been waiting for me to step out of my room.
So we were back on those terms then, I thought idly as he pressed me close. Not that I was complaining. Anything was better than the nightmarish night I’d just spent. If I could have trusted him, or myself, to spend the night together, only kissing, I’d have been in his room in a jiffy.
But that was just impossible.
“Morning, baby” He whispered against my mouth.
“Morning”
“Slept well?”
“No” I grimaced.
“Me neither. I told you-“
I slapped my right hand on his lips. “No more talking about this. I don’t want to hear it”
He grabbed my fingers and pried them away. “You know you want me. We could have spent the whole night enjoying each other and you’d be a lot happier this morning”
I rolled my eyes at his comment. “Whatever”

“You know it’s true” He persisted even as I moved away and joined the others. We were all going down to the hotel’s restaurant for breakfast. That was this week’s routine anyway.
“Kevin, let it go. It’s not even 9 yet”
“I won’t let it go. I’m tired of waiting for you to finally understand that this is what we need to do!”
I stopped in my tracks and turned around. I saw Howie wince behind me and knew they’d all heard what he’d said. “Have you listened to yourself lately? I’ve been saying no for days! Can’t you get it through your thick head? I’m not gonna have sex with you. Okay?”
“Stop fucking lying to yourself!” He replied, his voice rising along with his temper.
“I’m not lying to myself, Kevin, you are! If you’re that desperate, go home to your frigging wife!” I whirled around and opened the door to the staircase. There was no way I was going to take an elevator with him.

***

“I’m sorry I said that but you drive me nuts”

“As far as apologies go, this one’s pretty crappy”
He sighed and linked his fingers with mine. “I know. Fuck, I can’t seem to do anything right these days” He laid his head against the wall.
“I’m leaving in a few hours, Kev”
“I know that too and I can’t believe you’d just leave. Like that!”
“Why not? There’s nothing between us-“ I held up my hand. “Let me finish. We don’t have a relationship, we’re not even friends. We made a deal and now it’s over”
“It’s not over. You haven’t left yet”
“Don’t make this more difficult than it already is”
“It’s not me, it’s you! Don’t you see we could spend our last few hours together?”
“Isn’t that what we’re doing now?” I looked around us and realized the others had left the room. Thanks guys.

“You know what I mean” He tugged on my hand and I followed the movement, my face resting on his chest.
“I know” I murmured into his shirt. “But you understand why I’m saying no, right?”
He kissed my forehead and nodded, “I do. I hate it though”
“Same here” I muttered under my breath.
“I want you, baby”
I sighed and looked up. “Stop it”
“I can’t help myself!” He growled, running an agitated hand through his hair. “I’ve been imagining this for years and I don’t want you to leave like this”
“Years?”
“Yes. I used to drive myself crazy fantasizing what’d happen if we met. Doing all those things you wrote about. And you’re right here”
“I am but that was fiction, Kevin. This is reality and we can’t forget that-“
His lips brushing mine in a sweet caress. “I know, baby, I know. I’m sorry to be such a pain”
“You’re not. Much” I grinned.

We spent our last hour together, kissing and talking, and by the end of it, I was nearly on his lap. I had to restrain myself not to do more and knowing now was the time to go, I quickly got up and grabbed my bag. “It was an amazing week”
“I know” He replied, his eyes never leaving my face. “I’ll be back”
I found myself shaking my head, even as I stepped away. “Don’t”
“Count on it”
I opened my mouth to protest some more and realized it was pointless. He wouldn’t listen to me anyway. If there was one thing I’d learnt this week, it was that. Kevin did as Kevin wanted. “Bye Kev”
“Bye baby. Think of me”
I couldn’t help but smile back at him. “I will”

***

Standing in a busy airport, I waited for four Backstreet Boys to arrive for another stop on their world tour. Their plane hadn’t landed yet when I felt hands grab my shoulders and spin me around.
I had a second to realize it wasn’t a thief, that in fact Kevin was the one hugging me when his mouth landed on mine.
It felt so good I was already moaning when my arms looped around his neck. He kissed me as if he hadn’t seen me in months. As if he couldn’t stop, the rest of the world forgotten.
I heard people start laughing around us and took a step back. “I can’t believe you’re here”
He grinned, his eyes intent on my face. “I told you I’d be back”
“So you did” I replied, my voice low. I touched my sensitive lips and sighed when his arms pulled me tighter against his body. I stood in his embrace until voices rose and I knew everyone else had arrived.

I watched as they all hugged hello and then it was my turn to endure the welcomes. Maybe endure was the wrong term but I hadn’t expected this and I wasn’t too sure what to do. They all looked at me with a grin on their faces, probably thinking I was going to give in this time around. And they were right. I felt weak already. “Come on, guys, let’s go to the hotel before fans see you”
We trooped through the terminal and exited to find a shiny bus waiting for us. And as always, we got stuck in the morning rush before we’d even got onto the main road. “Shit” I commented as I looked at the line of cars in front of us. Guess we weren’t moving any time soon. I felt fingers link with mine and smiled at Kevin sitting beside me. “When did you get here?”
“This morning. Nick’d told me you were going to be waiting at the airport so I thought I’d surprise you”
I stared across the table at the culprit, who shrugged and unapologetically said, “What? He asked, I answered”
“Of course”

“I missed you” Kevin whispered in my ear just then, making my face heat up.
I looked at him and smiled softly, “I missed you too”
“Fuck” He growled, bending down until our mouths merged again. I remembered this well. The feel of his tongue around mine, his hands hard on my body. I’d thought of this, dreamt of this, so often these past months it was as if he’d been with me all this time. I’d lived in a fantasy world, trying to go on with my life and yet unable to think of something else. Someone else. Wanting only him yet knowing this was stupid. And it was.
I broke the kiss and pulled back. “Kev-“
He shushed me. “Not now. Please”
I nodded and leaned my head on his shoulder. This felt too good to ruin so soon.

***

“I will”

He blinked, his mouth gaping open for a second or two before he said, “What? No, I mean, really?”
I nodded, aware my face was heating up as he kept on staring at me. “Yes”
“Shit” He closed his eyes for an instant. “Can we go up now?”
I shook my head, “No, the guys are gonna leave soon. They’ve got interviews and appearances scheduled this afternoon. And we have to discuss this. I will but only under certain conditions”
“I knew this was too good to be true”
I frowned at his comment. “If you’re not happy with this, I can always sleep on my own tonight”
“I don’t think so” He growled back. “What’s the deal?”
I guess he knew me well now. “Lights off. And for one night only”
He was already shaking his head before I’d finished my sentence. “No, I want the lights on. I want to see you”
I did too but there was no way I could have sex with him with them on. The darkness would help me imagine this was all a dream. I wouldn’t be able to see him looming over me. He could be anyone, right? I forced myself to stop thinking. “It’s not a question, Kev. Lights off or the deal is off”
“Fuck!”

I watched as he paced in front of me, his fingers raking through his short hair. “Kev?”
He sighed and turned to face me. “Are you sure that’s what you want?” I nodded. “Okay then but only because it’s you and I want you so fucking much”
“Thanks” I grinned.
“So, can we go now?”
I shook my head. “Nope, I’m going with the guys. You can do whatever you want though”
That’s when I realized I didn’t even need to get ready for our night together. It was as if I’d already known he was going to appear today. I was all waxed and polished, I’d even given myself a pedi the night before. I’d gotten myself ready and even if I had told myself it was because the Boys were arriving, I suddenly knew better. I’d known that if he ever came back, it’d be here. In my hometown. It made sense after all.
“I’ll come with y’all. I’m not letting you out of my sight”
I stepped towards the door and looked over my shoulder. “I’m not gonna leave, don’t worry”
“It’s not that I don’t trust you …” His voice trailed as he stopped right behind me. “But I’ve wanted this for so long, I just don’t want it to go to hell before I even manage to get you naked”
“It won’t” I murmured as he dropped a kiss on the side of my neck.
“I’ll hold you to this” He squeezed my hip and let me go.

***

A horny Kevin had made my afternoon somewhat more difficult but also a lot more entertaining. He’d grabbed my hand and pulled me close, kissing me until we were both gasping for air. I couldn’t seem to be able to stop him but I’d made a point of telling no to his wandering hands. “Tonight” I’d stressed as I grabbed fingers off my butt for the second time in a row.
“Now”
“Kev, please” He’d sighed and his face had taken that puppy-dog look that Nick mastered so well. “This won’t work, you know”
His face broke into a grin. “It was worth a try”
Shaking my head at his obvious happiness, I’d left the room and went in search of a missing Boy. Now where the hell had AJ gone?

***

We’d trooped back to the hotel and I’d felt Kevin tense as we all stood in the elevator.

His arms wrapped around my waist as he pulled me against him. I gasped quietly when I felt his arousal through our clothes and knew I wouldn’t be able to stop him now. It was the end of the day, the Boys had nothing to do except entertain themselves. And surely they could do that without me. I’d already pointed out the nearest club they were sure to enjoy and I knew one or two or even three would come back that evening with a girl in tow.
But I didn’t care. I had my own man to contend with. How I was going to last the night with him, I didn’t know.

This was made worse by all the fantasies that had run through my head throughout the years. What if reality didn’t compare? I felt the hardness of his body behind me and realized that shouldn’t be a problem.
It wasn’t as if I didn’t know what kissing him or feeling him against me felt like. I just didn’t know how he’d feel inside me yet.

Fuck, I was turning myself on and we hadn’t even stepped out on our floor yet!

***

I ignored their amused glances and waited in front of my room until they’d all stepped into theirs.

“Ready?” Kevin’s voice washed over me.
“I think, yes”
“Scared?”
“Hell yeah”
He wrapped his arms around me and brushed my lips in a soft kiss. “Don’t be”
“But what if-“
Hard lips fell on mine and I was quite effectively shut up. It didn’t last long though and when he stepped back, I could see his eyes had darkened with lust. “I can’t hold on any longer, baby. Where’s your key?”
I handed it to him and watched as the light turned green. My heart was beating so fast I thought it’d explode out of my chest.
“Okay, baby, here we go. I’m so fucking turned on, the first time is going to be fast. I’ll take my time afterwards though, don’t worry” I wasn’t worried! “I’m going to explore your body and make you come so many times you’ll be too tired to get up in the morning”
Eek! I stepped into the room, his words spinning in my head.

***

I’d planned on going straight to the curtains to close them but he fell on me so fast I never had time to move.

His hands were on my shirt, deftly unbuttoning it before I could blink. I stared at his face and look of concentration and broke into a grin. This was it! I was going to have sex with Kevin Richardson. I felt giddy all of a sudden and it’s only when he tugged off my shirt that I remembered about the darkness.
We were in the middle of winter so it was already quite dark in the room without the lights on. But if I could still see him, then it also meant he could see me.
I shrieked inwardly and stepped away from him. In two seconds flat, I had both curtains closed. Black surrounded me and I tried to remember where I’d left him. “Kev?”
“I’m right here” He growled behind me before I was pushed.
This time, I shrieked out loud as I landed on top of the bed. “Hey!”
“Get naked. Now”
“What about you?”
“I’m taking my jeans off”
Hell. I wish I could see that. No, no, no. I’d already seen that. Well, I’d been the one to tug his zipper down once.

“I can’t hear you moving at all”
“One second!” I sat up and managed to take the rest of my clothes off. I sent them all flying to my left and hoped I didn’t break a lamp while I was at it.
“Ready?”
It was too much. I started giggling at the insanity of it all.

“I can’t believe you’re laughing when I’m dying here!”
“Oh come on, Kev. Don’t you think it’s funny?”
“What is?”
“You planning every little detail. Clothes off. Are you ready?” I mimicked his orders just as I felt the bed dip near my feet.
“I don’t find it funny at all actually” He brushed against my legs and I widened them so he could move closer.
Hearing him groan, I grinned some more and laid back on my elbows. “Come here so I can kiss you”
“Don’t tempt me, baby”
“I thought that was the whole point?”
He growled, I laughed and suddenly he was there. Leaning above me, he felt so good I moaned just at the feel of him.
“Still laughing?”
“No” I exhaled, wrapping my arms around his neck. Then his mouth found mine in the dark and everything spun out of control.

***

“Are you ready for me? Because I’m not sure I’m going to be able to hold on for long” He murmured against my neck as his right hand slid between our bodies. It traced a path down my stomach, right to where it felt good.
I felt my back arch at the first feel of his fingers on me. “Yes!”
His time to chuckle. “Was that a yes to my question?”
I blinked in the dark, too caught up in the sensations to think. “What question?”
“Never mind” His finger entered me and I felt my hips follow the movement. “Perfect” He exhaled out loud and grinded against my thigh. Then he added another finger and I began panting.
“Kev?”
“Yeah, baby”
“What are you waiting for?”
I could feel him still. “Now?”
“Yes!” I repeated and then … he went crazy.

Crazy good though. I barely had time to brace myself before he was pushing inside me. And my, he was big. Good but big. Woohoo. He stopped for a second when he was to the deep of me, then after a quick kiss on my lips, started thrusting.
“Oh” I wrapped my legs around his and held on to his biceps.
He grumbled “Okay?” but never waited for my answer. Instead he sped up his movements, making the bed bang against the wall.

I loved his hips, I told myself as I pushed against him. It was fast but I’d been waiting for years and I was ready. More than ready actually. I could already feel my walls clench around him and I knew he could feel it too. He groaned, loudly, and his head dropped down.
Just one more. One more. Heat exploded inside me and I screamed.
“Fuck!” He stopped moving for a second before sliding out and urging back in. His hips pumping, I heard myself moan and felt tremors rush through me. And then a loud groan left his mouth and he spent himself inside my awaiting body.
As if his arms couldn’t hold him up any longer, he fell on top of me. I didn’t push him away even if his weight was crushing me. Instead I relished the feel of him so close and waited for him to come back down to earth.

***

“Fuck me”
“I just did”

He groaned at the bad pun and dragged me closer to him. He’d fallen off to one side, quickly realizing he couldn’t stay on top of me forever. Not that I wouldn’t have liked that but I needed to breathe after all.
“That was pretty amazing” I added, loving the way his hands never left my body. His fingers were currently tracing patterns down my back and it felt so good I nearly purred.
“I can do much better”
“Can you really?” I grinned up at him, even if I knew he couldn’t see me.
“Hell yeah” He replied before claiming my lips in a hard kiss.

***

It was as if my body was floating over the bed.

My voice hoarse from screaming my release so many times, I grabbed hold of something and said, “I’m dead”
“Same here” My anchor replied as he pushed me down gently onto the duvet.
“What time is it?”
“I have no idea” A pause then, “Do you want me to check?”
“Yes, please”
I felt him move beside me and then a small light appeared on the other side of the bed. “It’s twenty past two”
“Shit” I groaned. I was supposed to get up at six.
“Want me to get back to my room?”

It was nice of him to suggest it but even as I thought about it, I knew I’d never let him out of here. “No, that’s fine. Except if you’d prefer to sleep on your own?”
“Not a chance” He laid back down against me and draped an arm around my waist. “Do you want to sleep now?”
“I don’t know if I can” I was so hyper after all that sex, that it felt as if I should be running a marathon instead.
“Just close your eyes, baby” His voice turned soft and husky in my ear and I did as instructed. I snuggled closer to his side, my fingers clutching his chest. He was mine. At least until morning.

***

A faint light woke me up a few hours later. Dawn was trying to reach through the curtains as I opened my eyes and found Kevin’s gaze on me. I knew I should be pushing him out of my room but I couldn’t. I physically couldn’t move away from him. “Morning”
“Morning” He replied, his voice low.
He never stopped staring at me and I wondered how long he’d been watching me sleep. “Have you been awake long?”
“Long enough”
I opened my mouth to ask further questions but snapped it shut again. I didn’t care. Not right at that moment.

Instead I leaned up and brushed my mouth over his. “Does this still count as night if the sun isn’t completely up yet?”
“Oh yeah” He growled before falling on top of me.
I giggled and then moaned when his hands found my breasts. He pulled and tugged and then moved down in the bed until his mouth joined in the fun. “Kevin!”
He murmured something unintelligible, too focused on his task to care.
I grabbed his hair and pulled.
He surfaced. “What?”
“It’s my turn. Lie down on your back”
He became still for an instant and then, with a groan, flopped down on the bed.
I took my time admiring his body. I couldn’t see all the details in the pale light that filtered under the curtains but that was enough for now.

“What are you planning to do to me?” He asked with a cheeky grin.
“Well,” I settled myself on his lap. “I was thinking of licking every inch of you. And then I’m gonna trace your tattoos very slowly with my tongue. And then-“
He grabbed my shoulders and made me fall on his chest. Before I could protest, he was kissing me again.

***

I watched the door close behind him and felt tears slowly glide down my face. Berating myself for being so pathetic, I brushed them away and got off the bed. I had to keep busy. I just had to forget what happened during the night and think of something else instead.

I took an extra quick shower and was ready in a matter of minutes. I didn’t bother drying my hair, simply put on some make-up and smiled at my reflection. Okay so maybe the smile wasn’t all that bright and happy but it was a start. Swinging my bag over my shoulder, I did my best not to look at the bed and left the room. I knocked on the first door next to mine and grinned when a disheveled AJ appeared. “Morning Alex, get a move on”
“Hey baby” He drew me forward for a quick hug. “I’m already dressed. Am I good or what?”
I dropped a quick kiss on his cheek and stepped back. “Very good. Up for breakfast?”
“Always if it involves coffee. Hold on, I’ll go put some shoes on”

I waited in front of his open door as I listened to him rummaging through his suitcase and swearing along the way. I heard a noise behind me and turned, stopping short when Kevin appeared at the other end of the corridor. He’d obviously taken a shower too, his wet hair sticking up above his head. I watched in silence as he walked towards me, his eyes so intent I had trouble breathing. I was remembering all we’d done through the night.
Fuck.
I closed my eyes and forced my mind to empty. No more thinking of this. I wouldn’t be able to survive through today if I did.
AJ suddenly popped in front of me, a grin displayed on his face. “Ready. Have you woken up the others yet?” I shook my head, aware Kevin was looming closer. “Hey Kev, didn’t see you there. What’s up, man?”
“J”
“Did you have a good night?”
No one responded and I decided now was the time to knock on the other doors.

***

“When are you leaving?”
Shoot. I hadn’t meant to talk to him again. He stared back at me and I could see the need clearly displayed in his eyes. My throat closed and I felt my face redden.
Thankfully he ignored it and replied, “I’m going with the guys to London and I’ll take a flight home from there”
I nodded and turned away. So he was leaving this afternoon. That was a good thing, right? Tears threatened my vision once again.

“Are you okay, baby?” Strong arms wrapped around my back as he pulled me close. I pressed my face to his chest and tightened my hold on him. “What’s wrong?”
Taking a deep breath, I blinked and hoped my waterproof mascara would hold. “Nothing. Just being emotional. Anyhow, I should go see where the guys are”
“Come back here” He warned before his hands had once more pulled me to him.
I looked up. “What?”
“The deal was one night only. Those were your terms”
“I know”
“So why are you crying?”
“I’m not!”
His thumb brushed a tear away. “Of course not”
I sighed and lowered my head. I didn’t want to gaze back at him. I didn’t want him to see the feelings running through me. “My hormones are playing up. Just … ignore me”
I whirled around and left the room, but not before I heard him say “That’s gonna be difficult”

***

One day later and it was already back to the airport.

I was in the process of hugging everyone goodbye. But when it came to Kevin’s turn, I froze and stood there, unsure of what to do next.
He smiled sadly and wrapped his arms around me, pressing so close I could feel his heart beat near mine. “Kev-“
He bent me over his arm and kissed me. His lips claimed mine, a groan rising in both our throats at the memories it evoked. My body tingling, I suddenly realized I wanted more. More of him.
I broke away when I also realized that just wasn’t possible. “Bye”
“Goodbye” He replied, a frown marring his face. He dropped a quick kiss on the corner of my lips and grabbed his bag. I watched him leave, watched them all leave and when they were through Customs, turned around and went back to my life.

My mascara didn’t hold after all.

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